30 Things to Let Go Of (and How to Actually Do It)
If you’re like me, you’ve carried something for years without noticing how heavy it was until the day you finally put it down.
Sometimes it’s a box in the back of a cupboard, and sometimes it’s a grudge, a habit, or a rule about how you’re supposed to live that nobody ever actually asked you to follow.
I’ve been practicing minimalism for well over a decade, and the most freeing things I’ve let go of were rarely objects.
So this list covers both: the stuff in your home and the stuff in your head.
You don’t need to let go of all thirty, and I’d be suspicious of anyone who did it in a weekend.
Pick the one that made you wince a little when you read it, and start there.
Things in Your Home
1. Clothes that fit a life you don’t have anymore
The work clothes from a job you left, the going-out tops from a version of you who went out, the “when I lose a bit of weight” jeans.
They’re taking up space that your current life could use, and I wrote a whole guide on how to get rid of clothes without wasting them.
2. Gifts you keep out of guilt
A gift has done its job the moment it was given and received with thanks.
The person who gave it would almost certainly rather you used it or passed it on than kept it in a cupboard and felt bad every time you saw it.
3. “Just in case” items
The spare cables, the jam jars, the fourteen paper bags under the sink.
If you could replace it for little money in under a day, you don’t need to store it for a case that hasn’t come in years.
4. Duplicates
Two of the same thing usually means one in use and one in the way.
Keep the better one and let the other go to someone who has none.
5. Paperwork you’ll never look at
Old manuals for things you no longer own, bank statements you can download, receipts for food you’ve already eaten.
Keep what you’re legally required to keep and what you’d actually need, and shred the rest.
6. Hobby supplies for a hobby you’ve quietly ended
I once kept a half-finished craft kit for three years as a kind of apology to my past self.
Giving it to a friend who actually finished it felt better than any amount of keeping it would have.
7. Old cards and letters you don’t treasure
Some are worth keeping forever, and most are a signature under a printed verse.
I have a gentle method for sorting them in what to do with old cards and letters.
8. Things you’re storing for other people
The box your sibling left “for a few weeks” two moves ago is a conversation waiting to happen.
Give them a kind deadline, and keep your home for your own life.
Things on Your Screens
9. Apps you haven’t opened in a month
Each one is a small open door for notifications, updates, and a few minutes of your attention.
Delete them, and if you miss one, you can download it again in seconds.
10. Newsletters you scroll past
Unsubscribing takes one click, and it’s one of the quickest ways to make your inbox feel lighter.
My digital declutter checklist has the rest of the phone and inbox steps.
11. Accounts that make you feel worse
If following someone leaves you comparing your kitchen, body, or career to theirs, you’re allowed to mute them.
They won’t know, and you’ll feel the difference within a week.
12. Thousands of photos you’ll never look at
Twenty near-identical shots of the same sunset mostly make the one good shot harder to find.
Keep the best one or two and delete the rest while you still remember which was which.
Things in Your Head
13. The need to be liked by everyone
It’s impossible, and trying is exhausting.
Being liked by the people who know you well is a far better use of your energy.
14. Comparison
You’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlights, which is never a fair contest.
If you need a nudge, I gathered some sourced lines in quotes about comparison.
15. Old grudges
Holding a grudge rarely bothers the other person, but it can take up a surprising amount of room in you.
You can let it go and still believe it wasn’t okay.
16. Perfectionism
Good enough and finished beats perfect and still in your head.
Most of what I’m proud of started as something I was a little embarrassed to share.
17. Regret about decisions you made with less information
You chose with what you knew then, and you know more now because of it.
Be as kind to your past self as you’d be to a friend telling you the same story.
18. Old versions of yourself
You’re allowed to stop being the person you were at nineteen, at twenty-five, or last year.
People change, and the ones who love you will keep up.
19. The need to explain yourself
A polite no is a complete answer, and so is “that doesn’t work for me.”
I collected the best lines on this in I don’t owe anyone an explanation quotes.
20. Worrying about what you can’t control
Make two lists, what you can do something about and what you can’t.
Act on the first list and practice gently putting down the second, over and over, because it takes practice.
Habits and Commitments
21. Saying yes by default
Every yes is a no to something else, usually your own evening.
Try a pause before answering, even a short “let me check and get back to you,” and see how much easier no becomes.
22. Busyness as a badge
I used to answer “how are you” with “so busy” as if it were good news.
These days a calendar with some space in it feels like the better answer.
23. Commitments you’d never sign up for today
Look at every recurring thing on your calendar and ask whether you’d say yes to it again knowing what you know now.
The ones that get a no can be wound down politely, and I wrote about that in learning to say no.
24. Doomscrolling before bed
I’ve been guilty of this more often than I’d like to admit.
Charging the phone outside the bedroom was the only thing that actually worked for me.
25. Your most toxic habit
Everyone has one, the habit that costs more than it gives.
I wrote about choosing just one to drop in let go of your most toxic habit, and one really is enough to start.
Relationships and Expectations
26. One-sided friendships
If you’re always the one who calls, plans, and listens, it’s okay to step back and see who steps forward.
You don’t need a dramatic ending, just a little less effort in one direction.
27. Other people’s plans for your life
Family, friends, and colleagues often have ideas about what you should study, earn, or own.
Listen kindly, then make your own choice.
28. The idea that rest has to be earned
Rest is something you need every day, finished list or not.
The list never ends anyway.
29. Waiting for the perfect moment
The perfect moment to start rarely arrives with a clear sign.
A slightly messy start this week beats a perfect start that never comes.
30. Guilt about letting go
This one sits on top of all the others.
Letting go of a thing, a habit, or a friendship is allowed, and it makes room for what matters now.
Why Letting Go Is So Hard
If you’ve ever struggled to give away something you never use, you’re not being silly.
Behavioural economists call one part of this the endowment effect: we tend to value things more simply because they’re ours, and in a well-known mug experiment people asked more than twice as much to sell a mug as others would pay to buy it.
The other part is the sunk cost effect, our tendency to keep investing in something because we’ve already put money or time into it.
Knowing that doesn’t make letting go painless, but it does help to recognize the voice that says “but I paid for it” as a quirk rather than wisdom.
How to Actually Let Go
Start with the easiest thing on this list, not the most important one.
Letting go is a skill, and the small wins build the muscle you’ll need for the big ones.
For objects, ask one question: if I didn’t own this, would I go out and buy it today?
For habits and thoughts, notice them without judging yourself, and choose one small thing to do instead.
For people, change the amount of effort before you change the relationship, and see what happens.
And give yourself time, because some things take one bag to the charity shop and some take a year of slowly loosening your grip.
If sentimental things are the hardest for you, as they are for me, I wrote about letting go of sentimentality and a gentler middle ground in what to do with the sentimental things you can’t throw away.
And Remember
You’ve been carrying more than you needed to, which is what happens to everyone when life adds things faster than we take them away.
Put down one thing this week.
Notice how it feels to have that hand free.
Then decide, calmly and in your own time, what you’d like to do with it.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the most important things to let go of? The ones that cost you the most energy: grudges, comparison, the need to be liked by everyone, commitments you’d never choose today, and possessions you keep only out of guilt. Start with whichever one feels lightest to drop, then build up.
How do I let go of things I don’t use? Ask whether you’d buy the item again today if you didn’t own it. If not, donate, sell, or pass it on, starting with duplicates and “just in case” items because they’re the easiest.
Why is it so hard to let go of things? People tend to overvalue what they already own, known as the endowment effect, and to hold onto things they’ve invested money or time in, known as the sunk cost effect. Recognizing these patterns makes it easier to decide calmly.
How do I let go of the past? Treat your past self with the same kindness you’d show a friend, remember that you decided with the information you had, and focus your energy on one small thing you can do today.
Is it okay to let go of friendships? Yes. You don’t need a dramatic ending. Reducing your effort in a one-sided friendship and seeing who steps forward is often enough to show you where your energy belongs.