Self Healing Quotes, Attributed and Sorted by What You’re Healing From
If you’re like me, you go looking for a healing quote at about one in the morning, when you can’t sleep and something still hurts.
That’s exactly the moment you don’t want to discover the line you’ve been holding onto was never said by the person it’s credited to.
So every quote below is traced to a real book, poem, letter, speech, or interview, with the source next to it.
The famous ones that turned out to be misattributed have their own honest section at the end.
They’re sorted by what you’re healing from, because grief, heartbreak, and the slow work of forgiving yourself each need different words.
For When It Still Hurts
“The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms (1929), chapter 34. The first edition prints “every one” as two words, though most reprints and quote sites say “everyone.”
“There is a crack, a crack in everything / That’s how the light gets in.” Leonard Cohen, from his song “Anthem” on The Future (1992).
“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet (1923), from the chapter “On Pain.”
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning (English edition 1959), shortened slightly from the original passage.
The Hemingway line is the one I return to, partly because he doesn’t pretend the breaking doesn’t happen.
If what you’re carrying feels too heavy for quotes right now, what to do when you feel overwhelmed with life might be a better place to start.
For Grief
“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” C.S. Lewis, the opening line of A Grief Observed (1961), first published under the pen name N.W. Clerk after the death of his wife.
“Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.” Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking (2005).
“You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.” Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler, On Grief and Grieving (2005).
“Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak / Whispers the o’erfraught heart and bids it break.” William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act 4, Scene 3.
“Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.” Robert F. Kennedy, speaking in Indianapolis on 4 April 1968, the night Martin Luther King Jr. was killed, quoting Aeschylus from memory in Edith Hamilton’s translation.
“Let not the eyes be dry when we have lost a friend, nor let them overflow. We may weep, but we must not wail.” Seneca, Moral Letters to Lucilius, Letter 63, in Richard Gummere’s translation.
“‘Tis better to have loved and lost / Than never to have loved at all.” Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam A.H.H. (1850), section 27.
The Kübler-Ross and Kessler line is the one I’d send to a friend, because it stops you waiting to “get over” something that was never going to disappear.
If your grief is tied to letters and cards from someone you’ve lost, I wrote gently about what to do with old cards and letters.
For Forgiving, Others and Yourself
“You set a prisoner free, but you discover that the real prisoner was yourself.” Lewis B. Smedes, Forgive and Forget (1984). The popular version, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free,” is a later paraphrase of this line.
“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” Louise L. Hay, You Can Heal Your Life (1984).
“All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.” Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love (late 14th century), chapter 27.
The Louise Hay line made me laugh the first time I read it, mostly because it was so obviously true about me.
Forgiving yourself is one of the hardest things to let go of, and it usually happens a little at a time.
For the Long Road Back
“Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. / Just keep going. No feeling is final.” Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours I, 59, in the translation by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy (1996).
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.” Maya Angelou, in an interview with Claudia Tate published in Black Women Writers at Work (1983).
“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3, King James Version.
“You your best thing, Sethe. You are.” Toni Morrison, Beloved (1987), spoken by Paul D. Many sites add the word “own,” but it isn’t in the novel.
Healing rarely goes in a straight line, and when it slips, how to get back on track is the gentle next step.
Short Ones for Captions
“What wound did ever heal but by degrees?” William Shakespeare, Othello, Act 2, Scene 3.
“Grief is the price we pay for love.” Queen Elizabeth II, in a message read at a memorial service in New York on 21 September 2001.
“No feeling is final.” Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours, Barrows and Macy translation.
The Othello line is my favourite caption of the lot, because “by degrees” is exactly how healing feels from the inside.
The Famous Ones I Couldn’t Verify
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” This is usually credited to Rumi, but it’s a condensed version of Coleman Barks’s free English rendering in The Essential Rumi (1995), “Keep looking at the bandaged place. That’s where the light enters you,” and Barks worked from other translations rather than the Persian.
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” Credited to Carl Jung everywhere, but it doesn’t appear in his writings, and Jung scholars list it among the quotes he never said.
“Death ends a life, not a relationship.” Usually credited to Tuesdays with Morrie (1997), but the line goes back to Robert Anderson’s play I Never Sang for My Father (1968): “Death ends a life, but it does not end a relationship.”
“Grief is just love with no place to go.” Widely credited to a writer named Jamie Anderson, but I couldn’t find an original post or printed source, so I’d treat it as unsourced.
They’re all beautiful lines, and you can still use them, just without the famous name attached.
Using These Kindly
If you’re writing to someone who’s grieving, one short line in a card is usually better than three long ones.
If you’re the one healing, try copying a line by hand onto a card and keeping it somewhere you’ll see it, a mirror, a desk, or the back of your phone case.
And if you need lines about looking after yourself while you heal, my best self care quotes and please take care of yourself quotes pick up where this list leaves off.
And Remember
At one in the morning, healing feels like it will never happen.
It does, by degrees, the way Shakespeare said, and usually more slowly than you’d like.
Be patient with the broken places, because so many people have been strong in them before you.
No feeling is final, including this one.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a good quote about self healing? “The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places,” from Ernest Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms (1929), and “What wound did ever heal but by degrees?” from Shakespeare’s Othello are two of the most reliable, well-sourced choices.
Did Rumi say “The wound is the place where the light enters you”? Not in those words. It’s a condensed version of Coleman Barks’s free English rendering, “Keep looking at the bandaged place. That’s where the light enters you,” from The Essential Rumi (1995).
What is a short healing quote for a caption? “What wound did ever heal but by degrees?” (Shakespeare), “No feeling is final” (Rilke, Barrows and Macy translation), or “Grief is the price we pay for love” (Queen Elizabeth II).
Who said “Grief is the price we pay for love”? Queen Elizabeth II, in a message read at a memorial service in New York on 21 September 2001.
What is a good quote about healing after loss? “You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it,” from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler’s On Grief and Grieving (2005), is gentle and honest about how grief changes over time.